Shopping for your wedding dress, hands down, is one of the most thrilling aspects of wedding planning. Your dress is so much more than a garment. Your life literally changes in that gown.
If you’ve ever spent a night binge watching “Say Yes to the Dress”, you’ve probably seen the excitement that comes when a bride comes in itching to try on all the beautiful gowns. You also know how quickly that excitement can turn to disappointment when the opinions of her entourage crush her dreams as the gown she loves quickly turns into a gown she wants to burn.
There is an enormous amount of pressure for brides to find THE dress, self-inflicted pressure to make sure everything about it is perfect because brides know when that music starts playing on their wedding day, all eyes are on her. Let’s face it, with the amount of choices, and new trends coming every season, it can get overwhelming.
Dress shopping can be especially hard for women who normally have a hard time making
decisions or who want to make everyone happy. That’s why, when it comes to saying yes to your dress, NEVER follow the rule of the more the merrier. In fact, the less people you bring with you on your shopping trip the better. Top designers and local shop owners agree. Taking more people with you to your appointment adds stress to what should be a fun event.
Why is a small group better when dress shopping?
Smaller is better for one reason. Clarity. “Less is better.” Antonetta Forzano, Owner of SpecialOccasions & Bridal by Antonetta in Fishkill says “…if you bring too many people, everybody has ideas and they may not have your idea.”
Have you ever heard of the expression analysis paralysis? When you bring more people to the appointment, they all add their opinions and analysis of the dress which confuses the bride and leads her to decision paralysis. She can’t make a move because everyone else’s thoughts are running through her mind…except her own.
We spoke to Martin Thornburg, head designer for David Tutera and Mon Cheri Bridal and head merchandiser for Mon Cheri Bridal, who say “Go with some ONE. Not some TWO. You don’t need all that, it can be a very daunting and very exhausting chore to look for dresses…” He goes on to say that “A lot of times brides are led by a girlfriend, and that’s very nice but the issue is a lot of times it becomes more about what the girlfriend wants rather than what the bride wants”
“I say to try not to bring more than three people, three people who’s opinions you really trust…Betsy Wise, stylist at Lambs Hill Bridal Boutique in Beacon says. “The more people you have, the more opinions you have, the more confused it gets, it’s upsetting if you find something you love and your aunt hates it. It just adds extra stress to something that should be a really enjoyable fun experience.”
Who should you bring to your first bridal gown appointment?
Your entourage is not only about quantity but quality. Tina Pomarico, owner of Lady Gray Bridal in Beacon, says “Typically, a lot of girls like to bring their mom. I do find today that they do come with an entourage…but I think those that are most close to them are the people that they should bring.”
“I think also to bring people that support you…” says Laura Howard, store manager of
Chamonix Bride in Rhinebeck. “Try not to bring people that knock you down. Because at the end of the day, it’s the bride’s decision.”
Emily Glass DeGasperis, Owner of Blush Bridal Boutique in Kingston, says “We recommend
that you limit your party to three or less during your visit at Blush…we have found that the opinions of a trusted few always make for an easier decision for you (the bride).
What happens if the entourage confuses the bride or the entourage and bride can’t agree on a wedding dress?
First, Thornburg suggests that when you go dress shopping, have an open mind “…I would want to be open to suggestions of your consultant,” he says “that is what they are there for, and if you are going to a reputable company or a reputable salon, keep an open mind, you want to try on the different silhouttes, you might be surprised.”
Once you find the silhouette you like and there is still no compromise or agreement from the group, Charlotte Guernsey, owner of Lambs Hill Bridal Boutique in Beacon says “you have to follow your heart. You have to feel comfortable and confident in your dress. At the end of the day it’s their (the bride’s) wedding and they have to feel beautiful. So it is hard especially if a family member is paying for the dress, they want that person to be happy as well.”
If you really love a dress, and those around you don’t, first, make sure you are spending your money wisely by looking at the quality of the gown and point out the benefits of the dress to the group. Then, ask the consultant to start adding the bling…the veil, jewelry, headpieces,have them pull your hair up, so you and those you are with can see the full picture. At the end of the day, it’s your wedding. You have to wear it, you need to like the way you look and feel in
it, and those around you need to understand that.
Howard says “it would be so nice to have a million people say ‘you know what, that’s your gown’, but it doesn’t matter, it’s up to them (the bride) entirely.”
We’d like to know about your dress shopping experience. Who did you bring? Did they all agree? Were there conflicting ideas and if so, how did you eventually end up choosing your dress?Read More