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The Number One Truth That Can Ruin Your Proposal

You’ve found “the one.” You have the ring. Now you just have to plan the proposal. It’s, without a doubt, the most monumental question someone has to ask, and someone has to answer, in their entire life. So much hinges on those four words: “Will you marry me?” With such an important question to ask, here’s the one truth no one talks about: Proposing in public could make or break the entire thing.


Now, don’t get me wrong – witnessing a public proposal is awesome. Whether it’s on the streets of New York City, at a Major League Baseball game, at Walt Disney World – I saw four in one day there once – it’s so cool!


But here’s the thing: While neat to see, there is a person on the other end of that question.  A public proposal could turn one of the most romantic moments in your life to one of complete embarrassment and dread for the person you’re asking. Here’s why…


If your partner hates attention, a public proposal could send fear and embarrassment through their entire body. Even your wedding could cause a lot of stress because of knowing that all eyes are going to be on you.


However, there is one thing you can do to make sure you create a magical moment for the both of you:




Pay attention to hints


Yankee Stadium proposal

Photo Credit: WCHV

For most couples, they get to a point when they both know they are ready to get married. The proposal may not have happened yet, but you know it’s coming. Maybe you’ve even spoke about getting married or started to look at rings. If you know it’s coming, you could just come out and say that you don’t want a public proposal, that you want something quiet instead. Kind of takes a bit of the surprise element out of it, but it certainly ensures you get your way.


You could also drop or fish for hints. Let’s say you and your partner are at a Major League Baseball game and see across the big screen a marriage proposal. If you say “Oh, that’s so cool!” and are really excited about it; but your partner reacts or says something opposite of that – chances are, a public proposal may not be the best thing.


If one of your friends got engaged in private and you are explaining how it all went down to your partner, and they say something or act in a positive way about that, chances are, that type of proposal would be awesome for that person.


Maybe they hate attention but have always dreamed about getting engaged in front of Cinderella Castle in Walt Disney World. Feel that person out by dropping subtle hints or have a friend do the investigating for you. Remember too, that some “public” places aren’t always as public as you think. There may be so many people around that they are so busy doing their own thing, that they aren’t paying attention to you at all.




But … what if you are proposed to in public and are frozen in panic?


To be clear, the panic isn’t because the love of your life is asking for your hand in marriage, you’re panicking because you have onlookers and hate attention. Here’s the bad news…I can’t tell you what to do.


What I can tell you to do is try to ignore what is going on around you. This is your moment, your loved one has put their heart on their sleeve and left themselves vulnerable, on their knee, asking you to spend the rest of your life with them. Focus on that moment, as it will only happen once.


In fact, as someone who got engaged in public, I can say that it was really neat to have the folks who saw, complete strangers, congratulate us, give us words of wisdom, wish us luck. It was really such a heartwarming experience to witness.


What is your ideal proposal? Would you prefer a private or public proposal?


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